Soul less

Last night I had a dream that lasted forever. Fogged hills near the water.
Like Maine.
But I've never been to Maine, so what do I know.
There was a car crash and an old barn.
Or mansion.
And I was running and trying to hide.
And he was following me. Wanted to protect me.
Or crush me.
Small doors, hidden rooms, peeling paint on wooden walls.
And I realized there were many of us trying to be protected or trying not to get crushed.
There was a mall. Or a hospital. A hospital in a mall. I've had dreams of this strange combination before. The same place.
Swimming inside.
It was confusing.
But all I know is I'm pretty sure I sold my soul to the devil in this dream. And he was so loving and terrifying at the same time. I wanted to please him and deceive him. And at times he was a she. I think she was me.
And all day I've had this horrible feeling.
Like I've lost a part of me I'm not sure I can get back.
Like I love something I'm a little afraid of.
Like I'm in over my head.
Like I might drown before I get to tell you all my secrets.

If my phone rang, I would.