I had my first class of level 5 at IO yesterday. I didn't feel great about it. I think everyone was kind of sizing each other up, but I'm having a hard time in IO classes right now. Whenever I perform or rehearse with Strippers Picnic, I have so much fun. I feel smart and confident and I just have a blast. I have felt the same way about class at Annoyance. But I have a major road block at IO right now. Every time I'm in class, I feel like my mind is frozen. Immediately, two walls go up on either side of me and my movements are limited. I just can't free myself in there. I think I have so much trust and support with the SP's and Annoyance class has such a positive feeling. There seems to be a negativity around my IO class. I still feel like I'm being judged.
But that could be in my head. I think as I get closer to 5b, my anxiety builds. When I started at IO, I never really cared about being put on a team. And at the end of the whole program, if I'm not, I won't be terribly disappointed. I look around and see very talented people. But I am competitive. And I think that part of me is starting to rev up. Maybe that is the problem. I'm starting to treat classes like a really really long audition so I'm trying to hard, thinking too much and not enjoying myself enough. Hmmm. But I still stand by the negative vibes in class too.
How do you put pictures in a blog?
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