Another Beginning

I start The School at Steppenwolf tomorrow. My general feeling right now is fear. Fear that I won't be good enough, that I won't fit in, that I will shrink into myself, that I won't feel comfortable being open, that I'm not prepared, that I won't know how to share all the love/belief in theatre that I have, that I will be snobby towards the "theatre kid" behavior...But I'm excited. Its going to be a really hard summer. There is something nice about not really knowing what to expect. But I am going to work my ass off and try to take some risks.

I went to pick up a script for school at Steppenwolf the other day and it was such a strange feeling. I keep taking these steps closer to accomplishing these big goals I have, but they feel like they are still pretty far away. I felt flustered and small when I was in the building. It is strange.

I think one of the most exciting parts of the summer will be finding a way to focus and attack all these big ideas I have. Once again, it is all about confidence. I think feeling confident gives clarity to all those paths that seem jumbled now. But it is also nice to feel like I don't have to just choose one. I don't think any of my goals have to suffer by spreading myself out. I think I just have to work that much harder at each one.

Speaking of those cool goals, check it:

I started recording some music in a studio for the first time. It is really fun and I felt much more comfortable than I thought I would. The dude who asked me to record had some really nice things to say, which always kind of stuns me. Hopefully this will encourage me to write some of my own tunes.

Also, Strippers Picnic is so fucking cool. We had a great run at Gorilla Tango with our pals SHTL, and we are going to have a busy summer. Performing at least once every week, got accepted into the Del Close Marathon through Upright Citizens Brigade in New York in August, just won a contest last night where our prize was a spot at DSI next year, we are feeling pretty good.

Well I think I might start writing more often now that I will be in School. AH! I start tomorrow!!! Wish me luck!